A word from the battle-scarred writer… Establish a hard limit on groveling.
While every new, up and coming author will inevitably be forced to contort to whatever any publishing house demands, once footing is found the groveling should cease.
This is not easy. I’m seven years into “published writer-hood” and I’m still struggling to say no and walk away.
Bottom line: Book spines and writer spines can co-exist. Tattoo this on your forehead if necessary.